Elephant Mario is a creature beyond human comprehension, and I’m scared

Super Mario Bros. Wonder looks like an absolute delight, doesn’t it? I’ll admit, going into June’s Nintendo Direct, I had my hopes set on a new 3D Mario game being announced. Although I have a lot of love for the 2D Mario games, I’ve previously felt that the recent side-scrolling entries haven’t done enough to stand out and carve a distinct identity like Super Mario Odyssey, Sunshine, Galaxy and all the other 3D games have.

With that said, the moment I saw Wonder in action, I was floored. Never before has a 2D Mario game looked so alive - each level that’s been shown looks, as the name would suggest, wondrous. Mario’s reactions to the things going on around him are immensely charming, and so many unique ideas have already been showcased - I can’t wait to get stuck into the whole thing. However, the trailer concluded with something so bizarre, so bewildering, so befuddling that I’ve not stopped thinking about it for weeks. Elephant Mario haunts me.

Take a look at the trailer for Super Mario Bros. Wonder for Nintendo Switch below.

The new Elephant power-up is an odd one, in many ways. Previously, all of Mario’s animal-based power-ups - like the Penguin, Cat and Frog - have given our favourite moustachioed plumber a onesie or accessory to wear, rather than a creature’s actual skin. This isn’t something I’ve given much thought to before, to be honest, but seeing Mario’s body contort so drastically to the point that in the split second before the trunk forces its way out of his face he appears to be in actual pain, I can’t help but be concerned for the poor guy’s welfare.

Seriously, just take a look at the transformation animation and slow it down, frame by frame. It’s only when the elephant has completely taken over his body that he appears to be back to his jovial self, but do we even know if Mario is in control anymore? Is he still in there, feeling and seeing everything as he should, or has the elephant taken his body hostage? I understand that it sounds ridiculous, but the decision not to give him an elephant costume in favour of this feels far too deliberate for me to accept that this is a normal thing to happen to the guy.

Beyond the ethical conundrums of whether or not Mario can truly feel pain when in elephant form, there’s another disturbing issue hiding in plain sight. Hear me out for a second here, but what’s underneath his gloves? I’m fully aware that we’re looking at a cartoon, fictional elephant here, but his hands should not look like that.

Nintendo.

When Mario transforms, the first things to metamorphose are his legs - we can see elephant feet protruding from his dungarees, proving that waist down, he’s in full elephant mode. The same can be said for his torso and head - the increase in his overall size signifies the change in his body, and, well, the alteration to his face is very obvious. If you peek closely, you can even see a bit of exposed skin on his arms showing that those have changed, too. But his hands are another story - while he loses his shoes when using the power-up, the gloves stay on, proving that he still has fingers. Why would he still have fingers?

I’m both confused and scared. Does he have perfectly normal human hands attached to his elephant body? Are they huge, mutated grey hands which at least sort of fit in with his overall transformation, or does the skin at that point on his body just stay as it was pre-power-up? The alternatives aren’t any better - he could instead have rows of five tiny elephant legs lined up on the end of each of his arms, which would be upsetting. Or even little elephant trunks, for that matter. We’re none the wiser for as long as he keeps those gloves on.

No matter what’s hiding under the gloves, Elephant Mario is a creature beyond human comprehension. There is no outcome here which makes his form reasonable - he’s an elephant with fingers. What business does any elephant have with owning a perfect set of fingers? Don’t get me wrong, I’m still going to be playing Super Mario Bros. Wonder on day one, but that trailer has given me a lot more to wonder about than the gameplay itself. Oh, and I know that elephants aren’t meant to have moustaches, either, but at least he’s rocking that.