Crypt Custodian review: A big warm hug of a game

Metroidvania games are not traditionally known for their cosy or forgiving nature. More often than not you’re a thoroughly isolated explorer stuck in a world that’s actively trying to kill you at all times. Hell, 80% of the planets Samus Aran visits blow up by the time she’s finished with ‘em.

Crypt Custodian, the new top-down adventure from Kyle Thompson, casts the usual dour themes of the genre aside for a refreshingly heartfelt metroidvania all about making friends and cleaning up the afterlife.

While Crypt Custodian might sound like a tough-as-nails game about a guy with two chainsaws for hands and shotguns on his feet who rips and tears through the afterlife, it actually stars a small black cat called Pluto.

Pluto, I am sorry to tell you, is dead. But death is not the end! Our feline friend finds himself on the precipice between paradise and purgatory, though an unfortunate incident involving some breakable objects and a cat’s innate nature to be an asshole means Pluto is soon sentenced to eternity cleaning up the afterlife.

Armed with nothing more than a broom, which essentially functions as a sword, Pluto soon devises a plan to round up enough of his fellow banished spirits and sneak into the heavenly bit of heaven from which he’s been barred.

From a purely mechanical standpoint, Crypt Custodian doesn’t really do anything we haven’t seen in a hundred other metroidvanias. It obviously shares a ton of DNA with Thompson’s last game, too: the criminally underrated Islets.

It’s not necessarily a bad thing when a game doesn’t reinvent the wheel, of course, especially when the formula is as finely crafted as it is in Crypt Custodian. This is as tight a metroidvania as you’re likely to play this year, with tons of secret areas, challenging bosses, and upgrades that gradually unfurl more of the game’s world in that intoxicating way only a metroidvania can.

Where Crypt Custodian really shines is in its heart. This is a game about exploring an afterlife filled with animals who were either abandoned or died, don’t forget, and if you really want a little cry there are plenty of optional collectibles scattered around the world that tell you the story of each character and how they arrived in the afterlife through short storybook vignettes.

Despite being about death, the entire game manages to convey a deeply comforting sensation through its world design and writing. Pottering around as Pluto is as close as a game has come to making me feel like I’m curled up with a good book on a rainy day, which is an impressive feat for something I reviewed during the height of summer.

Whether you’re helping one anxious spirit plan a dinner party for their guests, or helping another get over their fear of abandonment, Crypt Custodian never loses its unique sense of humour and deploys its properly emotional beats at exactly the right time. I fear in the hands of other developers a game about animal heaven could have been unbearably twee and overbearing. Not so here.

While backtracking can get a little much towards the end, and the lack of any real new ideas is a bit of a drag, Crypt Custodian is a thoroughly enjoyable adventure that’s bound to appeal to metroidvania veterans and newcomers alike. Don’t let this one slip through the cracks.

Pros: Wonderful writing, gorgeous world, a great big heart

Cons: Backtracking, no real new ideas

For fans of: Celeste, Hollow Knight, Islets

8/10: Excellent

Crypt Custodian is available now. A review code was provided by the publisher. Read a guide to our review scores here.