I was six years old when I first played The Sims.
As my first video game, I didn’t know what to expect and so I went in with hope in my heart and innocence in my veins, ready to create my very own family in the social simulation title.
Check out the trailer for The Sims & The Sims 2 Legacy Collection below!
So that’s what I did. I created my very own (albeit small) family complete with my mum, grandparents, auntie, uncle, and cousins.
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Things started off great and with the help of the “rosebud” cheat, I was able to build my family the house of their dreams, complete with a swimming pool in the back garden.
However, it soon became apparent that I had forgotten one useful item: a ladder.
As a result, my grandfather, who had been happily swimming in the pool, met his untimely demise and as the Grim Reaper appeared to collect his soul, I had already gone running to my mother (who just so happens to be my grandfather’s daughter) in tears, screaming that my grandfather was dead.
It is safe to say that the event led to a lot of panic and confusion but for some reason, my first experience with The Sims did not put me off and I spent the next 20 years playing every entry and expansion.
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I just never made my family again, for some reason.
That is why I was one of millions of fans shocked to learn that EA would be rereleasing both The Sims and The Sims 2, complete with multiple expansions.
Now available to play on Windows 10 and 11, without having to jump through hoops to try and make the original copies run, players have been returning to the early 2000s games and, despite reports of crashes and glitches, the magic is still very much alive.
And the utter chaos.
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As to not recreate some childhood trauma, I decided to boot up The Sims and make an original character, totally not related to me in any way, shape or form.
So that I could handle their needs (simply breathing in The Sims will lower all of your health bars by half), I planned on easing myself back in with just one character who would get a job, take trips downtown, and maybe meet a partner and have a child if things were going smoothly.
However, over the course of the last 20 years of my life, I had seemingly forgotten that playing The Sims and keeping your characters alive is harder than being in the SAS and it wasn’t long before I was cradling my head in my hands and apologising to my childhood self.
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I began my gameplay by decorating my house and after having my corneas burnt out by the wild and crazy bright colours that The Sims is full of, I had found one or two beige items that I was satisfied with.
With a heart-shaped hot tub in the garden and a vibrating bed in my bedroom, I had everything I needed and was ready to click ‘Live’ mode.
Within 10 minutes, my kitchen was on fire.
To add insult to injury, the infamous Tragic Clown was attempting to cheer me up, whilst my kitchen was burning and my Sim was ignoring my instructions to extinguish the flames or call the fire department.
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For some reason, the Clown’s attempts to cheer me up were not working but luckily, thanks to the fire alarm, the fire department did turn up and save me from the Grim Reaper’s embrace.
However, my Sim was, perhaps understandably, a bit traumatised by the events and refused to even shower because they were “too depressed”.
As much as I can relate, I had not missed this obstacle that The Sims presented players with and no amount of coaxing with an electronic guitar, book or TV like a dog with a bone would shift her and so we had already come to an impasse.
And that was when the burglar arrived.
I don’t know about you but the sound clip used when the burglar arrived haunted my childhood dreams and like a sleeper agent hearing their trigger words, I went into fight or flight mode as I watched the small camera show the criminal creep towards my house.
At this point, my Sim was vibrating away in bed and refused to wake up no matter how many times I tried to cancel the action.
In the end, I gave up and watched as the man in stripes bundled his way into my lot and began creeping upstairs.
Worried that he was going to steal my heart-shaped hot tub or my electric guitar, I could only watch in anguish as he headed towards his target.
However, the burglar had different ideas and instead bagged the painting of the Tragic Clown.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is karma for laughing at my near-death experience.
The Sims & The Sims 2 Legacy Collection are available now on PC.